项目编号: SCP-4263-J

项目等级: Safe

特殊收容措施: SCP-4263-J所有个体都应收容在Site-██. 机动特遣队Eta-29(复古装配工) 已经成立,用于搜索所有恶作剧用品店, 派对用品店, 和手工艺品店中未收容的SCP-4263-J和SCP-4263-1-J个体。所有SCP-4263-1-J实体都应存放在研究员Ryan的房间内1

描述: SCP-4263-J为一种粗糙的眼睛塑像,有异常大的黑色瞳孔,可以在一个透明的塑料膜后面自由移动。 78%的人看见该项目个体运动,称其为”令人不安””令人讨厌”或”令人毛骨悚然。” 在大多数情况下,项目个体背部都覆盖着一层粘胶。

当两个SCP-4263-J实体接触到无生命的实体时(以下简称SCP-4263-1-J),约90%的受试者认为这个实体是有知觉的,某些情况下,所有智慧生物不管对SCP-4263-1-J个体的感知倾向如何,许多实验对象都会表现出对它不同程度的迷恋,并试图讨好它。 那些受这种兴趣影响更严重的用户将花费大量时间收集和创建更多SCP-4263-1-J个体。 当被质疑时,受试者会坚持SCP-4263-J的创作是一种可以与蒙娜丽莎,沉思者等相媲美的艺术形式,经过几年的广泛测试,这个假设已被证明是错误的。

Addendum 01: Notable Test Logs

SCP-4263-J-1: A clock.
Results: Pupils of SCP-4263-J oscillated in time with the ticking of the clock. Overall effect described as "hypnotic."

SCP-4263-J-1: A sock.
Results: Unlike most instances of SCP-4263-1-J, result required manipulation by a human hand to manifest effect. Subject was compelled to relay the apparent thoughts of the instance in a high-pitched, cheerful voice. See Interview Log 4263-01.

SCP-4263-J-1: A rock.
Results: Subject behaved as though SCP-4263-1-J was a domesticated animal of some sort. Demonstrated positive emotional growth after being allowed to "take care" of it for several weeks.
Notes: Massive containment breach instigated by affected researcher. Mitigation was partially successful following the 1970's. Recontainment efforts are ongoing. All records of 1970-1979 are stricken from official Foundation records out of shame.

Interview Log 4263-01
In the interval between manifestation and the interview, researchers had provided SCP-4263-J, hosted by D-4263-7, with a blonde wig and lipstick. Resultant entity identified as "Miss Agatha Williamson Chesterfield," and was considered by most subjects who viewed her to be "a total knockout."

Researcher Ryan: Hello, Miss Chesterfield.
SCP-4263-1-J: Oh, please, doctor! There's no need to be so formal! Call me Agatha! Or Aggie!
(Note that Researcher Ryan appears slightly flustered.)
Researcher Ryan: Ahem, all right… Aggie. Would you mind telling me your goals?
SCP-4263-1-J: (giggles) You're rather direct, aren't you, Mitchell?
Researcher Ryan: How did you know my-
SCP-4263-1-J: Oh, a lady never says.
Researcher Ryan: Ahahah… of course not… (15 seconds pass) Do you know, Aggie, damnedest thing, but I can't quite remember what we brought you in here for.
SCP-4263-1-J: Oh it's quite all right, Mitchell. The service so far has been superb.
(At this point, Researcher Ryan appears to be sweating)
Researcher Ryan: Well, if there's anything we can do for you..
SCP-4263-1-J: Actually, there is. My friend here, you know him as D-4263-7, was wondering if he could go out to get a bite to eat. He's bashful, you see, around someone as handsome as you, so he asked me to ask for him.
Researcher Ryan: Oh, b-but that's not possible! The rules clearly state-
SCP-4263-1-J: Please? For me?
(SCP-4263-1-J leans in and kisses Researcher Ryan on the lips for 30 seconds.)
Researcher Ryan: Yowsa!

Following this, Researcher Ryan assisted SCP-4263-1-J and D-4263-7 in their escape, appearing to be slightly dazed while doing so. The two are still at large and have filed down as Persons of Interest codename: Bonnie and Clyde."

Addendum 02: Incident 4263-J-Omega
On ██/██/████, two instances of SCP-4263-J were attached to a D-class posterior. Resulting SCP-4263-J-1 instance was declared a Keter-Class entity. Despite this, no effort was made to contain it, with several researchers instead electing to create posters and other artwork depicting SCP-4263-J-1 and perpetuating a slogan which appeared to evolve by memetic consensus: "Can't contain this Keter ass." As of ██/██/████, Keter Ass has been successfully contained in a pair of sweatpants, rendering the slogan false.

Too soon, Fred reached the end of the author's pages, so he stood staring at a googly ass, waiting for someone to notice his presence and keep the story going on their pages.

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