相关派系: 支配、变形、波动锻造(召唤亚种)、暗黑之面(推测)




附录164-A: Notable incidents of SCP-164-J use:

Practitioner Victim Effect Current Status Notes
Zeodor the Foul ███ the ██████ Sensitive information stolen, deleted from library. Lasting memory damage as result of spellbattle between invading practitioner and MTF personnel, in addition to damage resulting from riots. Contained Practitioner was using propaganda to incite a tribal war among indigenous tympanic membrane imps. Healers judge damage to equilibrium permanent.
Samesh the Zoologger Danerius the Magnificent (notable M-blogger and Cawcker) Unknown (presumed pornographic in nature) Contained When detained by MTF personnel practitioner claimed to be searching for "the elusive emperor canal lion". Practitioner was reminded by MTF personnel that no such creature existed and was taken into custody.
Unknown (possibly related to Are We Chronomages Yet?) Timekeeper Aurulis General disarray in victim's ear canal. Loss of 1,356 days due to botched chronojump on the practitioner's side. Temporary hearing impediment resulting from practitioner's exploding inside the victim's ear. Contained Splatter found by MTF personnel spelled "Rock 'n' roll and pseudo-temporal timeshifts will never die!"
Steve Unknown Practitioner summoned a Gladius-Class attack submarine inside unknown victim's ear. Uncontained MTF personnel failed to detain Steve due to his sneakiness. This is quickly becoming a problem.

Addendum 164-B: The following is the protocol of the Overlord Council meeting concerning SCP-164-J:

Subject: Recent increase in cases of ear invasion.

Attending: Grand Magus Megalocnus; Zynnestra, Sorceress of High Marp; Scae'nTeron of the Elves; Inquisitor Lamentable Zeal

<Begin Log>

Megalocnus: Gentlemen, lady, we are here to discuss the dangerous forbidden art of Aurismancy. What say you?

Scae'nTeron: Can we hurry this shit up? I got stuff to do.

Megalocnus: And what…"stuff" is more important than an official Council meeting?

Scae'nTeron: Man, it's elf shit, you wouldn't understand. You're too mainstream.

Megalocnus: Scae'nTeron, I have been informed that your mother is in fact the one who is too mainstream.

Lamentable Zeal: Er, burn?

Megalocnus: Burn indeed. Now, what are we going to do about this mess? We have aurisomancers running around everyone's ears, sniffing in our libraries, mucking about. This cannot be allowed to continue.

Zynnestra: How about a scrying network? We can set it up to monito-

Megalocnus: There will be no scrying! Some of these libraries contain… sensitive information. Information some might not want others to become privy to.

Scae'nTeron: He's talking about his centaur porn.

Megalocnus: They are beautiful creatures, dammit! Those bushy tails, that flowing mane, those… luxurious thighs… ahm. So yes, none of that.

Lamentable Zeal: A Holy Writ, maybe?

Scae'nTeron: No, it wouldn't well interact with the ear-space continuum flow. Cause clogging, wormholes, all sorts of nastiness. Besides, Holy Writs give me the heaves.

Zynnestra: How about Marp?

Megalocnus: Why does it always got to be Marp with you?

Zynnestra: Name one time Marp didn't work.

Lamentable Zeal: Well, there was the Great Marp Collapse of 84, the Marpian Unification Wars, The Marpquake, World War Marp, World War Marp II-

Zynnestra: Okay, so maybe there were a few times-

Lamentable Zeal: -The Marp League fiasco, The Marp Peace Resolution, Marp: the Musical, Marp on Ic-

Zynnestra: Fine, we get it! How about sentry gnolls?

Megalocnus: Hmm. Yes, that might work.

Scae'nTeron: Sounds good to me. Everyone knows gnolls are reliable.

Lamentable Zeal: Indeed. Problem solved then. So, lunch?

Zynnestra: Lunch.

Scae'nTeron: Lunch.

Megalocnus: Lunch. I know this great Thai place.

<End Log>

Closing statement: Contrary to the Council's beliefs, it turned out gnolls were not, in fact, reliable. Current death toll estimate is in the thousands.

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